Time to Talk About Britney…
Do you think Britney Spears' career is over? she really blew it on the VMA's. - Quentin
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dis lazy, manufactured, no talent, previously confused teen, turned into a dysfunctonal adult aint nothin' new. it just so happens dis lil hooker was every white man's dream until she hooked up with yo boy, Kevin Federline. dat no good, white trash, donny wahlberg wanna-be brought all dat pre-programmed, genetically ghetto shit up outta her. she was a young, blonde, beautiful, fine little specimen with a phat lil rump and america wanted to see her shake dat ass. i mean, dis shit wasn't 'bout how good she sounded when she sang. we all know the nigga that made her voice sound velvet is laid back, suckin' on big, fake titties, drinkin' bottomless Alize and clockin' some serious figures after all the albums them little horny teenage boys and old freaks bought up.
now, she's bein' real, yo fantasy is ruined, she's a shameless whore and now ya hate da bitch. but me? naw man...i LOVE'em just like 'dat. these fools talkin' 'bout she fat. she tired and her moves ain't shit but she ain't fat bruh. you can best believe i would pay twenty dollars or so to knock dat off.... hell, i'll go as steep as a couple bills to lay da pipe on her ass. ya know she's an absolute BEAST between da sheets. thas how she keep gettin' these fools caught up.... hell, next thang ya know, she gonna have P-Diddy's baby and deez keebler's gonna find a way to disown her ass. they gonna find some shit about how her grandmama had a baby from dis black dude but nobody knows dat nigga's name. they gonna make up some shit 'bout how some mexican slipped the dick in her grandma sideways and they gonna give her ass to the colored folks. fuck dat, y'all keep ya bitch but i have no problems with y'all sendin' her over for a private dance.
but to answer yo question, no... her career ain't over. look at da shit they sent Madonna thru... this braud might suprise y'all fools. Britney Spears is my people as long as there's a fraction of a posssiblity dat i'll get up in dem drawls. - Qon
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Ask A Nigga’s Afrodisiac
damn its been a whole week since i wrote somethin' on dis bitch. a nigga been busy offline, bro. my weed ran out for a couple of days so that killed all my motivation. i aint writin SHIT without the inspiration, baby. my new batch finally came in on friday and dis shit is sticky! y'all know what a nigga talkin' bout! well, maybe some of y'all lame ass keeblers* who aint on da HOT shit don't feel me but, fuck it.... maybe you'll feel what i'm takin' about today.
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so, i'm layin' next to my girl and i smell her hair (yes, da shit is real.... i don't fuck wit' dat weave shit, so all you weave wearin' hoes can suck my ass).... so i'm smellin' my girl's hair and i realized somethin': the smell of baser beer makes me horny. that's right, Olde English 800... 8-Ball... OE... the smell of that cheap, ghetto, nigga-killin' beer gives me a rock. i mean, not that my girl's hair smell like baser beer, well... that night it did... but, normally it don't. i wondered what made dis shit gimme a 9-iron in my drawls, so i thought back and it hit me:
i lost my virginity to a crack head named Poochie. i didn't KNOW she was a crack head... at first. she was slim, had a cute face and dem titties... jeeeeezus christ dem titties. i never saw titties like dat in my life! i mean, i was only 16 and the only place i seen titties was "Emmanuel - Not Rated X" movies late night on Cinemax. i knocked that shit OUT for like... 6 minutes - the first 2 minutes were spent fuckin' wit' dat wack ass condom, which probably was a good idea lookin' back but hittin' it raw is always kinda hot. she always smelled like OE 800 doh. maybe she had JUST FINISHED hittin' da pipe every time i hooked up wit' her. is dat what crack smells like? What da fuck? i didn't have to pay for da pussy but maybe if i did, it woulda tipped me off. a nigga was kinda "brand new"...."green" back then.
she took me to her house and it seemed kinda stange that there was always like 2 or 3 niggas sittin around in da corners in her front room. the lights was always dim and i actually tapped dat ass in her room while her mom was always askin "what's da password?" every time her "cousins" rang da doorbell. so yeah, the moral of the story is... don't smoke crack or your hair will smell like 8-Ball... if you're a female, with big tits, cute face, small waist, fat ass and you smoke crack or are a heavy OE-800 drinker, email a nigga yo number and i'll hit ya up when i'm in town. i'm addicted to booty crack.... da story aint over so stay tuned for da conclusion. - Qon
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These Motherfuckers are BAD.
why do people feel so sorry for kids these days? some of these little motherfuckers are just BAD... i mean, just fucked up kids. aint a damn thang, Mary & Bobby coulda done to stop that lil motherfucker Dillon and his friend from flippin' out on they whole school class. maybe it was THAT little bastard that was playin' with yo kid's wee-wee at confession but he FORCED yo kid to say it was Father Peterson. maybe ya kid's a weed head even after ya sent'em to the 'right' schools and made him wear clean drawls and shave his nutsack before getting on the short bus on da way school?
or maybe somebody need to start whippin' ass again. i hate to be the one to make this suggestion cuz lawd knows i've received some ass whoopin's that would be classified as attempted murder today. some of these lil niggas today aint never HEARD of a switch! what da fuck? you don't know what a SWITCH IS??? nigga you must've been raised by raccoons or somethin' fool! even country white folks know 'bout a damn switch. oh yeah, white folks been whippin' ass waaaaaaaay longer than black folks have. awe, they got dat shit DOWN, nigga... so don't let them white niggas fool yo ass, they get some straightenin' - ask Ted Nugent. who the fuck wants this fool to be they daddy? he'll jump out da car on his kids, pull one of dem lil niggas out and insert his foot in they ass in the middle of 5 o'clock traffic (i mean... thats what he seem like to me).
people feel bad for kids and think they're 'weak' cuz they forgot where they came from... when i was a kid, i was a SLICK lil maphucka (at least I thought i was). i knew what sex was all about by the time i was 10. i mean, i didn't wanna fuck nobody, i just wanted to see some titties (thas a whole 'nother story i'll save for next week). sex don't ruin kids people... it's how we make the kids, its natural and TAKING a life is not associated with sex (in most cases). these kids are livin' in a whole new generation, they're advancing and evolving faster than we can even make adjustments to adapt. sure, they need guidance, our attention, our concern and our protection TO AN EXTENT. at the same time, just be smart parents, stop askin' da government & television to do yo damn jobs and i they'll be a-ight. damn, a nigga got a little....sentimental... is that a tear? oh oh oh hell nah! this chronic smoke was hittin' nigga in the eye stronga than a bitch. sweeeeeet.
got questions? problems in yo life? hit up da 1 & only... AskANigga.com - Qon
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Whores Are Wonderful!
i met this girl and i like her but i just found out she's a stripper. she hot and all but i dont wanna get caught up with no ho. who knows how many dicks this girl seen man. she cool but damn, i dunno if i want that kinda bitch. what you think? - craig
sorry, i haven't posted in a minute but i had to handle some personal biz. i got like 5 thangs goin' on at once: i'm tryin' to sell rubies and sapphires on the black market, sellin' baskets handmade by the asian niggas in my sweatshops and i'm slangin' porn like mcdonald's is slangin' hamburgers - what can i say? i'm a multi-faceted nigga. to your question: i'm 'bout to piss off a lotta females out there so i hope i aint jammin' up my pussy streams... but i'm gonna give ya the real. EVERY chick on this planet - in one way or another - is a hooker. the problem is that the word (and all other synonyms of it) has a negative connotation in most societies. but since i'm an unusual nigga, i think whores are GREAT. if i call a bitch ho, hooker, slut, whore, easy, or cheap.... i consider that a compliment.
i like realness. fakeness irritates the shit outta me so.... truth is my thing. i know the truth is the LAST thing most cats wanna hear - especially females. you ask most mafuckas, "do you prefer the truth or a lie?", most people will say "the truth!" but that - in itself - is a mafuckin' lie. when you tell a bitch the TRUTH... 99.9% of the time, it will upset her. "Do i look fat in this dress?" .."Am i the best you've ever had?".."Did you fuck her?"... you know what the truth will get ya? fucked up is where it gets ya. a hooker is nothin' but raw honesty. when you see a braud and you wanna fuck her (note, i did NOT say 'marry her or be her man'), what do you have to do? go up and say that shit? hell no... ya gotta play the game. but with a whore? you say what you want, she says what SHE wants, y'all trade, its a wrap, no obligations and phone calls at 2am askin, "where are you?".
think about this...most women expect their man to "provide" for them.. they just want the shit indirectly so it makes them feel good... makes'em feel....'clean'. but what does it all boil down to for the man? cash. its all about makin' that paper, and payin' for her loyalty. if you don't pay, you can bet she gonna find some other nigga who WILL. sure, you didn't put money in her HANDS to get the ass, but you bought those rims, you're wearin' the current hot hip hop styles, you spend time on the mind games, you bought the meals at expensive restaurants... all expenses you incurred to gain access to MORE ASS. think of it like this..... when you pay a whore, you ain't payin' her for ass, you payin' her to get the FUCK out....for the freedom and lack of obligations that come with this simple, honest transaction. NO ASS IS FREE my friends, its either cash or your valuable time and sanity. i'll take the cash route.
so, i'm really just sayin' that all women are the same bro. whether her camel toe has seen 2 or 150 cocks, either is just as good and just as clean (actually, in my opinion [imo], the more cocks its seen, the better the sex will be). if you like her, let her be a good stripper and bring back one of her stripper friends and let her WATCH YOU HIT IT. now your fantasies have come true, you can die and live in happiness and not worry about what your parents and friends will think about your 'ho'-ish girlfriend.
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Crazy Bitches & Babies Don’t Mix
why haven't Jermaine and Janet had a baby yet? if you was hittin' dat, wouldn't you have knocked that up by now? - Maurice
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first, why do you give a shit? i don't. but hey, since you asked and you lookin for answers, that's what i'm here for. would i have dropped a load up in janet? hell yeah... i loves me some crazy bitches. the more insane she is, the better the pussy gonna be. would i have impregnated her? another resounding HELL NO. fuck a infamous, hot, horny, beautiful, porn-lovin', cock-suckin', baby's mama. don't get it twisted, janet is STILL fine despite all the tabloid bullshit...if you got a DICK you'd be lyin' when yo wife asks you, 'would you fuck Janet Jackson?' and you WILL lie if you wanna live. fuckin' one is plenty but havin' a baby with one? thas a recipe for disaster bruh! You think a chick's attitude is bad when she's bleedin' every month don't ya? dat aint got SHIT on a chick whose worst pain she will feel EVER IN LIFE is associated with YO sorry ass.
note that havin' a baby means you will be attached to the chick who has the baby for as long as that child has life and emotionally, attached FOREVER! so...while you slow niggas thinkin' that 'knockin' up janet' would be the ultimate rush, Mr Dupri understands the situation. he's had the ghetto hoochies with child support claims and hookers screamin' 'bout "it's YO baby!". he also understands that Janet - though somewhat estranged - is still very much a part of the most emotionally unstable celebrity family in the country. them jacksons aint firin' on all cylinders, boo and we all know it. his fortune does NOT need to be mixed up in her mess. fuck that. don't get me wrong, you might occasionally find a diamond in the rough that turns out to be somewhat sane. i guarantee you can find yoself a nice, average lookin' chick who aint lost they damn mind. does Janet even cook? we know she's a repressed whore which is great for Jermaine but horrible for world wild whoremongers like myself. what makes her seem like a good candidate for sperm donation other than the common knowledge she sucks dick like a crack fiend smokes found rocks? the point? stop makin' ugly babies...think before ya smash!
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Retards Need Not Apply
"wazzapanin m nigga!! Lisen up im only gonna ax u dis once!How many Nigs dose it take to get to the cenner of a toosie pop?! - MetalDrummer"
about as long as it takes for me to decipher yo fucked up grammar. let's get somethin' straight... you can find many ignorant, closed to retarded niggas in da media on tha daily: Kanye West, Al Sharpton, Michael Vick, Kobe Bryant, Usher, Superhead (whatever that whore's name is... call me, boo!). i'm sure there are niggas who are complete nobodys that are just as retarded.... like tha cat who sent me this email. i'm college educated, a world traveller, an ex-pat, an entrepreneur and a documented playa. my credentials are solid so any of you slow, jesus-following niggas can go ahead and send me an email with another dumb question like this so i can have a good laugh. personally, there's no way in HELL i'd send another nigga an email with any references to anything about lickin' or suckin' it. just not my style bro.... it may be a little homophobic but i prefer to steer clear of any inentional or unintentional gay-ness. for those that wanna know the real and get some good advice at the same time, y'all can holla too, i'm waitin' to hear from ya. i got mad shit on my plate today but i'll probably post again real shortly now that i've been keepin' an eye on you US niggas.
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Michael Vick and Other Shit
why must people insist on talkin' to me when i'm blazed? the whole point of getting blazed is to relax and focus on "letting it go". so, i am now starting a brand new rule: if i just had a smoke session, your "serious shit" convo is gonna have to be re-scheduled to 3 hours later in the day...if i commense another session before that 3 hours has passed...you gonna have to accept an additional delay of 3 hours. as fucked up as this past week was, we might not get into any serious shit all weekend. the Weed Smoker's Click is now officially the new club name, if you down, then read this shit daily for a few words from your founder.
i know have delusions of becoming the biggest weed dealer in this country cuz these fools don't know how to grow the good shit. i 'allgedly' sold better weed than this out of my freshman dorm. its not an impossible thing ya know. the police are more crooked than the niggas runnin' shit in washington so you know money does all the talkin' here. these cats and NEVA chased nobody over here. i been here 4 years and i aint NEVA seen one of their policemen run. get caught speedin? just drop dat nigga the equivalent of 3US dollars, you and yo lead foot are on yo way in 5 mins or less, no questions asked.
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since i'm talkin' about miscellanous shit today, lemme go ahead and talk about Michael Vick. i'm sure you've heard everything from A-Z regarding this misguided, poorly educated, super nigga. why do i call him a Super Nigga? cuz he's gonna get treated almost like a white dude if he was in the same spot. the bullets that normally would kill, bounce off and he'll keep on runnin', entertainin' and gettin' paid. what makes him the DUMBEST super nigga EVER is that he is already rich beyond his wildest dreams but went the "thug" route. i know how niggas be into pit bulls and stupid shit but me? if i was the highest paid balla' in the NFL, the closest i'd get to illegal activity is cuttin' them ugly tags off my pillow cases. sure, i'd be bangin' white bitches left and right (with the window curtains open, hidden cameras on AND a successful vasectomy) but i'd be clean as my freshly shaved nutsack (yes, i shave my pubic area.. it makes my already enormous penis look even larger). dumb niggas gonna keep doin dumb shit no matter how much money you give'em so don't be surprised when the next one is caught doin' some off the wall shit. - Q'on
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T-Dubb Weighs In….
I'm sorta with Q'on on this one but what I wanna know is why the fuck you needa fake ID? I mean if it's to get in the 18 and over clubs cool but how you gonna holla a a bitch if your pockets are empty and you rode the bus to the club? And if they just want hard dick and a phone call the next day then you cool. But most of age bitches want more then that unless of course you looking at them 40+ Cougars but let's get back to the main question How do you get a fake id.
If you're 17 I'm still guessing you in school , and that's where I'd start first I'd make friends with that Mexican girl with the big tits and fat ass that all the niggas look at but can't holla at her because she's in them ESL(English as a second language ) classes all day. More then likely if that bitch is your age and still can't speak English she's an FOB not fresh off the boat but fresh over the border you know her dad works in front of the Home Depot and moms cleans houses. Anyway start game that bitch and offer to give her some free English lessons if she takes you to the spot where her family became "legal" 
. This is probably the best way to go about it as you may get a new ID and some ass out of it . just don't marry the bitch.
Another suggestion would be to fuck goin the State ID route and just get a college ID. That shit is simple enough, just make some friends at your local college and find out who you need to talk to to get a student ID most clubs around major unis let you in on that alone. - That Corporate Nigga, T-Dubb
Am I Irreplaceable?
"my girlfriend has been singin' this song by Beyonce (Irreplaceable?) and its really irritating. she's just not what she used to be... as Musiq says, "i want my friend back". how do i get the relationship back on track?" - Marcus
sounds to me like you aint bein appreciated at your house bruh. when i first listened to this song you talkin' 'bout, i wondered "How in the hell did Beyonce get my weed man's phone number?"... cuz i KNOW she had to be smokin' some of the BEST shit when she wrote this joint. this song has got bitches goin crazy...... the wild thing is, Beyonce is one of the only black chicks in the USA that can sing this shit with some conviction and not worry. there's a long line of niggas waitin to pay for access to that pussy. but the rest of you under paid hookers? sheeeeeit. let's get the facts straight: there are more females than men... the quality of BLACK men in this country is steadily declining in pace with the release of every "50 Cent" Album... and you got some serious competition from white, mexican, brazilian, euro, MILF ho-hoes further shrinking the "good black man" pool. so there's not much room for bein so bold about yo market value.
if you feelin' a lack of appreciation at yo crib, then you don't need to say nothin' to your wife/ girlfriend/ in-house hooker. you just be ready to make some drastic changes and help feed her concerns about bein' back in the rat race. what do i mean? start gettin' up in the morning early... brushin ya teeth twice a day... use mouthwash... keep yoself shaved and splash some cologne on daily... start goin' back to the gym and gettin' in shape... turn the love handles into washboards... take a shower as soon as ya get home, get in da bed, don't give her no dick WHAT SO EVER... go to sleep and start again bright and early the next day for a few weeks. after starving her of good dick for all this time, close da deal with an argument, some slightly drunk 'make-up' dick, and the very next morning, TRUST that you will see a complete turnaround in how she been showin' out... cuz even if you are the ugliest bastard in the universe, once you start makin' her feel like someone other than HER might want yo ass, she gonna try to find a way to keep from havin' to replace ya.
i mean, thas assuming you HAVE been fuckin her properly at a decent frequency... AND assumin' she still WANTS to fuck you... thas also assuming she aint no psycho porn braud who gets off on abuse... cuz ya might have some penis decapitation or mutilation events in yo future... possible multiple stab wounds... this is also assuming she ain't some hyper ghetto thug bitch who gets off on real thugs and you aint no thug... maybe i ain't tha nigga to be giving out relationship advice. so take it or leave it.
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Fake ID Locator?
muh nigga wat location do you get fake ids i need 2 be 18 and im 17 if u would let me no i would appreciaite it. - Miiz.tReCii
what's crackin playa? i'm sorry it took me so long to get back to ya on this but wifey cooked some mean ass shimp & garlic + i needed to sit on down, smoke a nice phatty, and think for a minute about yo question. now, i could send ya over to Bootsie off Edgewood & Avenue B on tha northside of Duval County but... nigga, how i 'sposed to know where you at??! i mean, even if you went to see this cat and he snatched you up, ass raped ya and sent ya home tellin ya not to tell yo mommy then yo parents would be filing lawsuits, suin a nigga cuz yo dumb ass got a fake ID referral from "that nigga online"... i mean, i knew dat nigga Bootsie after i was already grown and i hear he like'em young and tender like yo ass... so, i aint neva had dat kinda experience with da nigga but i bet you'd want me to come off some cheese if he got yo ass, now wouldn't ya?
you know what? i need to start a MySpace page or some shit and sell "fake ids". nah, you couldn't actually USE the shit and expect for somebody in they right mind to let yo ass in someplace... it was just be a plain ass, white laminated card with the words "FAKE ID" and a pic spot for you to glue yo photo on... any pic you want. i bet these young fuckers online would be runnin and orderin' that shit, not realizin' they $20 went to the paypal account for "that nigga online" and he withdrew the $20,000 he collected in 1 day from yo young, dumb ass and is currently sittin' on a beach in Southwest Thailand smokin a blunt fatter than yo mama's wasteline.
ONE YEAR?? you can't wait 52 weeks (probably less by now) to be legit and use yo own shit? these mafuckas today lookin' for shortcuts to the shortcuts. hell, if you 17 years old, 9 times outta 10, you flip yo REAL id at a club and niggas aint gonna give a shit, then let ya in anyhow. if you don't go in, they can't take all the money you gonna be spendin' on bitches who aint gonna give yo ass no pussy. go locate a bigger set of balls, fall into the club and give it a try before you find yoself doin 10-20 for committing a felony and you can believe you will have NO problem gettin' some action up in there.
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