Crazy Bitches & Babies Don’t Mix
why haven't Jermaine and Janet had a baby yet? if you was hittin' dat, wouldn't you have knocked that up by now? - Maurice
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first, why do you give a shit? i don't. but hey, since you asked and you lookin for answers, that's what i'm here for. would i have dropped a load up in janet? hell yeah... i loves me some crazy bitches. the more insane she is, the better the pussy gonna be. would i have impregnated her? another resounding HELL NO. fuck a infamous, hot, horny, beautiful, porn-lovin', cock-suckin', baby's mama. don't get it twisted, janet is STILL fine despite all the tabloid bullshit...if you got a DICK you'd be lyin' when yo wife asks you, 'would you fuck Janet Jackson?' and you WILL lie if you wanna live. fuckin' one is plenty but havin' a baby with one? thas a recipe for disaster bruh! You think a chick's attitude is bad when she's bleedin' every month don't ya? dat aint got SHIT on a chick whose worst pain she will feel EVER IN LIFE is associated with YO sorry ass.
note that havin' a baby means you will be attached to the chick who has the baby for as long as that child has life and emotionally, attached FOREVER! so...while you slow niggas thinkin' that 'knockin' up janet' would be the ultimate rush, Mr Dupri understands the situation. he's had the ghetto hoochies with child support claims and hookers screamin' 'bout "it's YO baby!". he also understands that Janet - though somewhat estranged - is still very much a part of the most emotionally unstable celebrity family in the country. them jacksons aint firin' on all cylinders, boo and we all know it. his fortune does NOT need to be mixed up in her mess. fuck that. don't get me wrong, you might occasionally find a diamond in the rough that turns out to be somewhat sane. i guarantee you can find yoself a nice, average lookin' chick who aint lost they damn mind. does Janet even cook? we know she's a repressed whore which is great for Jermaine but horrible for world wild whoremongers like myself. what makes her seem like a good candidate for sperm donation other than the common knowledge she sucks dick like a crack fiend smokes found rocks? the point? stop makin' ugly babies...think before ya smash!
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Retards Need Not Apply
"wazzapanin m nigga!! Lisen up im only gonna ax u dis once!How many Nigs dose it take to get to the cenner of a toosie pop?! - MetalDrummer"
about as long as it takes for me to decipher yo fucked up grammar. let's get somethin' straight... you can find many ignorant, closed to retarded niggas in da media on tha daily: Kanye West, Al Sharpton, Michael Vick, Kobe Bryant, Usher, Superhead (whatever that whore's name is... call me, boo!). i'm sure there are niggas who are complete nobodys that are just as retarded.... like tha cat who sent me this email. i'm college educated, a world traveller, an ex-pat, an entrepreneur and a documented playa. my credentials are solid so any of you slow, jesus-following niggas can go ahead and send me an email with another dumb question like this so i can have a good laugh. personally, there's no way in HELL i'd send another nigga an email with any references to anything about lickin' or suckin' it. just not my style bro.... it may be a little homophobic but i prefer to steer clear of any inentional or unintentional gay-ness. for those that wanna know the real and get some good advice at the same time, y'all can holla too, i'm waitin' to hear from ya. i got mad shit on my plate today but i'll probably post again real shortly now that i've been keepin' an eye on you US niggas.
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Michael Vick and Other Shit
why must people insist on talkin' to me when i'm blazed? the whole point of getting blazed is to relax and focus on "letting it go". so, i am now starting a brand new rule: if i just had a smoke session, your "serious shit" convo is gonna have to be re-scheduled to 3 hours later in the day...if i commense another session before that 3 hours has passed...you gonna have to accept an additional delay of 3 hours. as fucked up as this past week was, we might not get into any serious shit all weekend. the Weed Smoker's Click is now officially the new club name, if you down, then read this shit daily for a few words from your founder.
i know have delusions of becoming the biggest weed dealer in this country cuz these fools don't know how to grow the good shit. i 'allgedly' sold better weed than this out of my freshman dorm. its not an impossible thing ya know. the police are more crooked than the niggas runnin' shit in washington so you know money does all the talkin' here. these cats and NEVA chased nobody over here. i been here 4 years and i aint NEVA seen one of their policemen run. get caught speedin? just drop dat nigga the equivalent of 3US dollars, you and yo lead foot are on yo way in 5 mins or less, no questions asked.
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since i'm talkin' about miscellanous shit today, lemme go ahead and talk about Michael Vick. i'm sure you've heard everything from A-Z regarding this misguided, poorly educated, super nigga. why do i call him a Super Nigga? cuz he's gonna get treated almost like a white dude if he was in the same spot. the bullets that normally would kill, bounce off and he'll keep on runnin', entertainin' and gettin' paid. what makes him the DUMBEST super nigga EVER is that he is already rich beyond his wildest dreams but went the "thug" route. i know how niggas be into pit bulls and stupid shit but me? if i was the highest paid balla' in the NFL, the closest i'd get to illegal activity is cuttin' them ugly tags off my pillow cases. sure, i'd be bangin' white bitches left and right (with the window curtains open, hidden cameras on AND a successful vasectomy) but i'd be clean as my freshly shaved nutsack (yes, i shave my pubic area.. it makes my already enormous penis look even larger). dumb niggas gonna keep doin dumb shit no matter how much money you give'em so don't be surprised when the next one is caught doin' some off the wall shit. - Q'on
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T-Dubb Weighs In….
I'm sorta with Q'on on this one but what I wanna know is why the fuck you needa fake ID? I mean if it's to get in the 18 and over clubs cool but how you gonna holla a a bitch if your pockets are empty and you rode the bus to the club? And if they just want hard dick and a phone call the next day then you cool. But most of age bitches want more then that unless of course you looking at them 40+ Cougars but let's get back to the main question How do you get a fake id.
If you're 17 I'm still guessing you in school , and that's where I'd start first I'd make friends with that Mexican girl with the big tits and fat ass that all the niggas look at but can't holla at her because she's in them ESL(English as a second language ) classes all day. More then likely if that bitch is your age and still can't speak English she's an FOB not fresh off the boat but fresh over the border you know her dad works in front of the Home Depot and moms cleans houses. Anyway start game that bitch and offer to give her some free English lessons if she takes you to the spot where her family became "legal" 
. This is probably the best way to go about it as you may get a new ID and some ass out of it . just don't marry the bitch.
Another suggestion would be to fuck goin the State ID route and just get a college ID. That shit is simple enough, just make some friends at your local college and find out who you need to talk to to get a student ID most clubs around major unis let you in on that alone. - That Corporate Nigga, T-Dubb
Am I Irreplaceable?
"my girlfriend has been singin' this song by Beyonce (Irreplaceable?) and its really irritating. she's just not what she used to be... as Musiq says, "i want my friend back". how do i get the relationship back on track?" - Marcus
sounds to me like you aint bein appreciated at your house bruh. when i first listened to this song you talkin' 'bout, i wondered "How in the hell did Beyonce get my weed man's phone number?"... cuz i KNOW she had to be smokin' some of the BEST shit when she wrote this joint. this song has got bitches goin crazy...... the wild thing is, Beyonce is one of the only black chicks in the USA that can sing this shit with some conviction and not worry. there's a long line of niggas waitin to pay for access to that pussy. but the rest of you under paid hookers? sheeeeeit. let's get the facts straight: there are more females than men... the quality of BLACK men in this country is steadily declining in pace with the release of every "50 Cent" Album... and you got some serious competition from white, mexican, brazilian, euro, MILF ho-hoes further shrinking the "good black man" pool. so there's not much room for bein so bold about yo market value.
if you feelin' a lack of appreciation at yo crib, then you don't need to say nothin' to your wife/ girlfriend/ in-house hooker. you just be ready to make some drastic changes and help feed her concerns about bein' back in the rat race. what do i mean? start gettin' up in the morning early... brushin ya teeth twice a day... use mouthwash... keep yoself shaved and splash some cologne on daily... start goin' back to the gym and gettin' in shape... turn the love handles into washboards... take a shower as soon as ya get home, get in da bed, don't give her no dick WHAT SO EVER... go to sleep and start again bright and early the next day for a few weeks. after starving her of good dick for all this time, close da deal with an argument, some slightly drunk 'make-up' dick, and the very next morning, TRUST that you will see a complete turnaround in how she been showin' out... cuz even if you are the ugliest bastard in the universe, once you start makin' her feel like someone other than HER might want yo ass, she gonna try to find a way to keep from havin' to replace ya.
i mean, thas assuming you HAVE been fuckin her properly at a decent frequency... AND assumin' she still WANTS to fuck you... thas also assuming she aint no psycho porn braud who gets off on abuse... cuz ya might have some penis decapitation or mutilation events in yo future... possible multiple stab wounds... this is also assuming she ain't some hyper ghetto thug bitch who gets off on real thugs and you aint no thug... maybe i ain't tha nigga to be giving out relationship advice. so take it or leave it.
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Fake ID Locator?
muh nigga wat location do you get fake ids i need 2 be 18 and im 17 if u would let me no i would appreciaite it. - Miiz.tReCii
what's crackin playa? i'm sorry it took me so long to get back to ya on this but wifey cooked some mean ass shimp & garlic + i needed to sit on down, smoke a nice phatty, and think for a minute about yo question. now, i could send ya over to Bootsie off Edgewood & Avenue B on tha northside of Duval County but... nigga, how i 'sposed to know where you at??! i mean, even if you went to see this cat and he snatched you up, ass raped ya and sent ya home tellin ya not to tell yo mommy then yo parents would be filing lawsuits, suin a nigga cuz yo dumb ass got a fake ID referral from "that nigga online"... i mean, i knew dat nigga Bootsie after i was already grown and i hear he like'em young and tender like yo ass... so, i aint neva had dat kinda experience with da nigga but i bet you'd want me to come off some cheese if he got yo ass, now wouldn't ya?
you know what? i need to start a MySpace page or some shit and sell "fake ids". nah, you couldn't actually USE the shit and expect for somebody in they right mind to let yo ass in someplace... it was just be a plain ass, white laminated card with the words "FAKE ID" and a pic spot for you to glue yo photo on... any pic you want. i bet these young fuckers online would be runnin and orderin' that shit, not realizin' they $20 went to the paypal account for "that nigga online" and he withdrew the $20,000 he collected in 1 day from yo young, dumb ass and is currently sittin' on a beach in Southwest Thailand smokin a blunt fatter than yo mama's wasteline.
ONE YEAR?? you can't wait 52 weeks (probably less by now) to be legit and use yo own shit? these mafuckas today lookin' for shortcuts to the shortcuts. hell, if you 17 years old, 9 times outta 10, you flip yo REAL id at a club and niggas aint gonna give a shit, then let ya in anyhow. if you don't go in, they can't take all the money you gonna be spendin' on bitches who aint gonna give yo ass no pussy. go locate a bigger set of balls, fall into the club and give it a try before you find yoself doin 10-20 for committing a felony and you can believe you will have NO problem gettin' some action up in there.
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