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Am I Irreplaceable?

"my girlfriend has been singin' this song by Beyonce (Irreplaceable?) and its really irritating. she's just not what she used to be... as Musiq says, "i want my friend back". how do i get the relationship back on track?" - Marcus

sounds to me like you aint bein appreciated at your house bruh. when i first listened to this song you talkin' 'bout, i wondered "How in the hell did Beyonce get my weed man's phone number?"... cuz i KNOW she had to be smokin' some of the BEST shit when she wrote this joint. this song has got bitches goin crazy...... the wild thing is, Beyonce is one of the only black chicks in the USA that can sing this shit with some conviction and not worry. there's a long line of niggas waitin to pay for access to that pussy. but the rest of you under paid hookers? sheeeeeit. let's get the facts straight: there are more females than men... the quality of BLACK men in this country is steadily declining in pace with the release of every "50 Cent" Album... and you got some serious competition from white, mexican, brazilian, euro, MILF ho-hoes further shrinking the "good black man" pool. so there's not much room for bein so bold about yo market value.

if you feelin' a lack of appreciation at yo crib, then you don't need to say nothin' to your wife/ girlfriend/ in-house hooker. you just be ready to make some drastic changes and help feed her concerns about bein' back in the rat race. what do i mean? start gettin' up in the morning early... brushin ya teeth twice a day... use mouthwash... keep yoself shaved and splash some cologne on daily... start goin' back to the gym and gettin' in shape... turn the love handles into washboards... take a shower as soon as ya get home, get in da bed, don't give her no dick WHAT SO EVER... go to sleep and start again bright and early the next day for a few weeks. after starving her of good dick for all this time, close da deal with an argument, some slightly drunk 'make-up' dick, and the very next morning, TRUST that you will see a complete turnaround in how she been showin' out... cuz even if you are the ugliest bastard in the universe, once you start makin' her feel like someone other than HER might want yo ass, she gonna try to find a way to keep from havin' to replace ya.

i mean, thas assuming you HAVE been fuckin her properly at a decent frequency... AND assumin' she still WANTS to fuck you... thas also assuming she aint no psycho porn braud who gets off on abuse... cuz ya might have some penis decapitation or mutilation events in yo future... possible multiple stab wounds... this is also assuming she ain't some hyper ghetto thug bitch who gets off on real thugs and you aint no thug... maybe i ain't tha nigga to be giving out relationship advice. so take it or leave it.

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